The buffalo wings have been served.
There is only one thing this can mean. Only fools, bitches and jiveass turkeys don’t know that a platter of buffalo wings is traditionally used to denote the beginning of Pimpsmas. The silly bitches of planet Earth celebrate their silly bitch “Christmas” for one day, just as they eat gingerbread houses only on special occasions. On Netzach, planet of love, home of pimpkind in my Bizarro novel, Time Pimp, Pimpsmas is celebrated for an entire month. Dayum.
I will be celebrating Pimpsmas in various ways and share with you something pimpin’ that I’ve been doing, starting with of course, ordering the Pimpsmas buffalo wing platter. As the holidays draw nearer, I will give away ten copies of the Time Pimp Pimpsmas special, a unique Time Pimp novelette that will be signed and numbered with a unique and very sexy drawing of one of the hos in Time Pimp’s stable. Dayum once again.
But I am not doing this for free like a punkass bitch. No. I gots to get paid to keep big pimpin’ like this. So, to get entered into the drawing for the ten Pimpsmas special chapbooks you must do one of the following: 1.) order Time Pimp between now and December 22nd. 2.) Hire me on for editing services. or 3) Sign up for the online Bizarro writing workshop I am teaching alongside Tom Bradley. Novelettes will be mailed out December 23rd. Domestic only. Email firstname.lastname@example.org with proof of purchase and you’ll be entered to win. All nonwinners will receive digital copies of the novelette.