Sizzling Summer News

Posted: June 25, 2012 in Uncategorized

So, it’s officially Summer. That happened a couple days ago. This is probably not news to you and those of you seeking Sizzling Summer News might already be disappointed by this. But don’t worry, the news will sizzle like sidewalk bacon.  First of all, there are some new places you can read my work. You can find links in the Stories panel to Bizarrocast, Bizarrocentral and Paragraph Line, each of which has up a new and unique story of mine,  which is likely very different from any of my stuff that you’ve read.  I’ve made some unusual choices, but Bizarro and Chainsaw Noir are about unusual choices. Far as I’m concerned, there’s little reason to make any other kind. This Friday, you will also be able to read my Machen inspired weird tale The Granny Crunchbones Gospels, which will be up as part of the formidable Phatasmagorium’s weekly series! Also, you will be able to read my story Beast With Two Backs in In Heaven, Everything is Fine: Stories Inspired By David Lynch, an upcoming anthology of David Lynch inspired fiction edited by Cameron Pierce!

So, strange choices have been much to my benefit. Like making music.  I’ve had a weird relationship with music my whole life. I’ve always felt I couldn’t sing. I’ve always felt it would be cool to make music, but the business would be impossible to navigate and it would be hard to find a sufficient number of reliable collaborators.  But I did. In my last days in the Midwest, musician Mike Bibby and I recorded an album under the name Sad Monster Party. It will be available sometime this Summer and contains five really unusual tracks about elder traffic light gods and spooky roller discos . So, if you enjoy my work, it’s still probably very much in your wheelhouse. Also, last Summer on a very emotional trip to the East Coast, I reconnected with Wick Hill, my songwriting partner from college and we decided to rededicate ourselves to the music we made back then, to make a go of something amazing because we had nothing left to lose.  And to do this, I would return to my home state of Massachusetts and devote the lion’s share of my energy to the band. Our band is the kind of serious underdog story that those of you that follow small press authors can appreciate. And the music’s weird too. Mayonnaise Jenkins and the Former Kings of the Delta Blues has six things going for it: Wick Hill’s instrumental and mechanical genius, my imagination/bluesmagic, the leggy and talented torch/pop chanteuse Morgana Allen, the engineering prowess of Boston’s Q Division Studios, a legendary blues front man who will not show up and may or may not be imaginary and an utter shortage of fucks to give.

Placing hats on inanimate objects allows you to communicate with them and glean their wisdom.

Wick Hill teases Joesph McCarthy’s ghost. (Ghost not pictured)


Morgana Allen between takes at our secret recording fortress. Me drinking my spontaneous combustion medicine. Spontaneous combustion is serious shit. It can happen any time, anywhere.

Studios make Wick rustic.

Morgana is justified in her fear of packs of wild guitars.

Guitar bites are serious. Like the protagonist of Foreigner’s song Jukebox Heroes, I had one guitar. And it did this.  Imagine what a group of them could do.

This has me extremely excited. But less us not forget about this Summer’s upcoming Online Summer Bizarro Workshop. For 60 dollars, you get six weeks of Bizarro instruction from three Bizarro pros: myself, Jordan Krall and Bradley Sands.  Contact me before the 30th at or via Facebook you’ll miss out. Only six spots remain. And since I feel generosity and nostalgia, I will throw in something cool to the next three of you to enroll: copies of my echapbook The Pserpent Psalms AND  a .doc of my embarassing first novel. You know what? Fuck it. Have a PDF of Murderland part 1: h8 too.

Like Mayonnaise Jenkins and the Former Kings of the Delta Blues on Facebook!

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