Guerilla Journalism Experiment #2: Gorilla Journalism Bizarro fan/author Joe Bouthiette Is Interviewed by the World’s Second Smartest Gorilla

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

My first guerilla journalism experiment turned out fun. But a Twitter response from my friend Gabriel Epstein encouraged me to take the experiment further. “How about GOrilla journalism?” he asked. That could be arranged. I happen to know Primatus the Conqueror, the world’s smartest gorilla. Unfortunately, he was busy disemboweling superheroes that stood in the way of his conquest and composing a series of light operas about it. But, he gave me the phone number for his cousin Stewart, the world’s second smartest gorilla. Stewart is very smart-for a gorilla. Really, we should be impressed that he can type. So, I conducted the experiment as I did last week saying that the first person  to post on the Facebook thread requesting interviewees that I would interview them. This was a lie. Stewart would do it. Bizarro fan and author Joe Bouthiette responded. Here is what happened. Keep in mind that Stewart is a gorilla. Stewart’s question will be in bold, Joe’s responses will not.

 

Greetings inferior primate! What name do you have? Use capitals so I know that you are shouting!

MY ROBOTIC AARDVARK PARENTS DIDN’T BESTOW ME WITH A NAME. BUT AROUND THESE PARTS, THEY CALL ME JOE.

Aardvarks are tricky. They steal ants that I like eat!

DON’T WORRY, SUPREME MASTER SUPERIOR OF THE PRIMATES. THEY ARE LONG GONE NOW.

Shouting will stop. What Joe do? Punch elephants for being rude? I do that! I get fine bugs and fruits for that. Don’t steal my idea!

I will whisper now.

I wash toilets. And through some complex process called the “monetary system” (had to look up spelling on Google) I get books for it. Are you familiar with books, Lord Puncher of Rude Beasts?

I enjoy Tom Clancy. The world’s smartest gorilla say I should read Cormac Mc Carthy. So I throw many many rocks! Washing toilets sounds hard. I used one once. Not my thing. Any hobbies?

Well obviously I like to read those books I wash toilets for. I also like to try to write stories like these books. Sometimes they’re good.

I’m also a musician, which may please the world’s second smartest gorilla, as I spend hours at a time hitting things with sticks.

I’m into Guitar Hero. I hear it’s similar.

Close enough. (aside: KILL ME NOW)

I think Michele Bachmann has some good ideas. But I only vote for Idol. Do you agree? Also, I enjoy bananas. That can’t be wrong.

Well, I read mostly bizarro books nowadays. Your friend Garrett over there is into that sot of thing. Extreme horror also tickles my fancy. Most of the good stuff I write is some sort of mutant baby of the two, only without ears. Also can’t go wrong with the classics. If I were you, though, I’d avoid Sinclair’s The Jungle. I don’t think there are any bananas in it.

Call me later about that cave song. Have to go wash toilets!

Enjoy toilets! Gorillas are best!

 

If you’d like to be interviewed, keep your eyes on my Facebook page. I will be posting an interview request once a week. I suspect I will  be doing the interviews from now on and not Stewart, unless something comes up.

Comments
  1. Lee Widener says:

    I like Stewart! I like Joe! I like Garrett!

    I was hoping Gorilla Grodd would do the interview, but Stewart did well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s